Archive | motherhood

this morning with my babies

February 13, 2013 at 10:31 am

Well, here we are on Day 3 of Week 1! And so far we have survived and generally managed to have some fun while doing it. We continue to be cared for so well by meals from friends and play dates that happen right in my home so I don’t have to go anywhere. I feel so loved by my community and thankful for this season of life, despite the fact that caring for two children 24/7 is one of the hardest things I have done in awhile. No matter how each day goes, though, I am always so grateful to see Elliott walk through the door.

Since right now both kids are napping (!), I thought I’d share a few photos that I took this morning. You can’t see Lena’s runny nose or mine, or the pile of dirty laundry, or the blocks that Lena threw instead of stacking them, but all those things exist, even though they’re not the most fun things to photograph. Enjoy the beautiful side of the morning with me!

One strategy I am employing this week is to pull out a new toy for Lena each day. This started with a bag of used toys I bought from my friend Rachel, but then we were surprised by some gifts from friends and family. Today we opened up these beautiful blocksfrom my friend Jen. Thank you so much, Jen… we love them!

Thank you all for your comments and advice after my last post! The sleep is getting a little better but we definitely don’t have a routine down yet. We’re working on it as we get used to our little man and his needs. Gil surprised us by being so different from Lena. From Day 1 in the hospital she would just curl up next to me and sleep the whole night through with occasional nursing, but Gil nurses next to me and then bursts into tears! Why, buddy? We’re figuring out his needs along with our own and trying to come up with a system that works for all of us.

Anyway, since you are all so full of such wonderful advice, I’d love to hear any fun activities that you have developed for your toddlers. I’m thinking of making her some play doh soon. Today she had fun watering the plants for me with a bucket of water and a cup. I sat down in the sun with my reheated cup of coffee and enjoyed all glorious 10 minutes that that lasted.

And so we go on!

11 :: in Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Series, Gil, Lena, motherhood

ten o’clock an all’s well!

February 11, 2013 at 10:31 am

Good morning! Well, here I am… flying solo. Elliott is back at work and this is the first day of my first week as a mama alone at home with two babies.

Friday was actually my first solo day, and I would not call it successful. Lena threw the temper tantrum of the decade, Gil fussed a lot of the day, we spent a good 5 minutes all bawling together at some point in there, and I might have sent a “mayday!” message to Elliott sometime around… oh… 2pm.

So far today has already been better. We’ve missed Elliott this morning, but we have survived. Breakfast, playtime, and nap time have happened without drama. I even managed to wash the dishes after breakfast (which, as you know, I have given up doing with two babies unless all the stars align). We have some friends coming later for a play date, my friend Jen is dropping off dinner, and all in all… we have a lot to be thankful for on this first day of our first solo week.

Well, okay, Lena is currently calling “Mama… Mama…” instead of actually napping, Gil is due to wake up any moment, there are toys all over the living room, and I’ve misplaced my cup of coffee somewhere in the chaos but… you know. Perspective! Attitude!

I will admit that this day is a welcome relief from the whole weekend, which was not so pleasant. I’ve had a bad cold and so have been foggily stumbling through the weekend with a dripping nose and dull headache. We didn’t sleep much at all on Friday night until around 3:30am Elliott asked me to go sleep on the daybed in Lena’s room in order to at least sleep for a few hours. I don’t like the idea of sleeping in different rooms, or of sleeping away from our baby, though. We both agree that we want this to be as temporary a solution as possible.

What did you do in order to sleep when you — or your friends or family — had a newborn? Any tips you can pass along?

14 :: in Baby Numero Due, Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Series, family, Gil, motherhood

my last day as a mother of one {Part 2 of 2}

February 8, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Exactly two weeks ago today I gave birth to our precious little baby Gil, an adorable bundle of love. Of course, that bundle of love has currently had me dancing for the last two hours to keep him happy and get him to go back to sleep. (Welcome to my new life!) While I would never go back to live without this precious baby, I must admit that this day I am in the process of chronicling — my last day as a mother of one — is looking very restful right now!

I know this last day with just Lena and myself was an unusually good one; we had no errands or activities on our plate and spent the entire day enjoying each other, mother and daughter, and peacefully playing, eating, walking, and talking together. I also know that these days will come again, perhaps in six months or so, once Lena and I and Gil all have a routine. But until then, this day with just Lena and myself is very much a thing of the past, even though it still seems close enough to relive in the blink of an eye.

Anyway, back to the agenda at hand. We’re picking up again at lunch, where I had leftovers (veggie enchiladas and blood orange salad) and Lena had Ramen (so easy…), blueberries, and yogurt. We shared an apple.

Lena: “My?” (Meaning “more” noddles.)

Me: Drink your soup, Lena, and then you can have more.

Lena: *gulp gulp gulp*

After lunch I got to wash the lunch dishes, something which I knew then would be impossible with two little children. (I was right. So far it is impossible.) Lena occupied herself for a few minutes while I did this… apparently by climbing back up into her high chair and shaking her water cup upside down.

I try to make my household tasks into a game and include Lena as much as I can. Helps me get more done! In this case I had to get the stubs of candle out of the top of the candlesticks. She enjoyed playing with the bowl of warm water while I dug out the soft wax. Then we set up the candlesticks with fresh candles to be ready for dinner that night.

Time to do something that she wants to do. We spent the next hour or so playing on the living room rug. One part of playtime was all 150 blocks through the shape sorter. Whew!

Siena, our Maine Coon kitten and ever-present companion.

Bathroom break. Lena’s playing with a jar of chocolate chips, one of which will be her “teet” (treat) when she is finished. We’ve since moved to giving her a goldfish after each successful trip to the toilet, which works extremely well if you only dole out goldfish as a reward! She loves them and always wants the parent who is with her to enjoy a goldfish as well.

Good girl… cleaning up after herself.

And back to playing, this time with the kitty and also the punch and drop toy we got her for Christmas.

Naptime again! These very yellow photos are due to the mellow, sleep-inducing (we hope) lamplight in her room. Siena snuggles down in her new favorite spot until I nudge her out so I can snuggle there with Lena for storytime.

Two naps in one day… I know I’m blessed! I use the 1.5 hours to clean the bathroom…

… put a few more things in my bag for the hospital…

… and do some dinner prep. On tonight’s menu: Sausage, Potato, and Fennel Chowder with fresh sausage from a butcher in town.

She’s up again! Someone’s happy to see her.

She helps me finish up a little dusting, which for her means using a paper towel for about 3 seconds before announcing that it is “tash” (trash) and running off with it to find a garbage can.

Back to the kitchen to finish up dinner before Elliott gets home from work. Lena tries a sip of my “doose” (juice), Pom and sparkling water. She’s not a huge fan.

We’re in the bathroom again when Daddy walks in! Lena runs to him for a hug, telling him excitedly that she just earned another “teet,” which earns an extra enthusiastic hug and kiss from him.

I stopped taking pictures at this point. I think I thought the routine would be the same with two babies as with one once Elliott got home. But I forgot that newborns don’t go to sleep at 7:30pm and wake up at 7am like Lena does. I forgot that they like to be held, especially while you’re eating dinner. I forgot what it’s like to put your baby in the Moby wrap and rock from one foot to the other while you wash the dinner dishes. I forgot that I might be nursing a newborn in the evenings while Elliott and I are watching Downton Abbey or dong Bible study together or attempting to blog. Basically… I think I conveniently didn’t realize how much a newborn would transform our whole lives, not just the 9-5 weekdays that Lena and I spent together.

So yes, the newborn is here. Gil is here, all adorable 8.5 lbs of him, with his beautiful thick hair and sleepy blue eyes. He has completely transformed our lives in every way, and it is taking an enormous amount of sacrifice so far. We’ve sacrificed having free hands. We’ve sacrificed our free evenings. We’ve sacrificed sleep… oh, so much sleep. We’ve sacrificed snuggles with our daughter (and turned them into double snuggles, which aren’t always easy to do!).

But we’ve gained so much. Welcome, little Gil. How will our days look with you in our pictures?

11 :: in a picture an hour, Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Series, family, Gil, Lena, motherhood, thoughts

my last day as a mother of one {Part 1 of 2}

February 7, 2013 at 5:53 pm

Two weeks ago today was my last day as a mother of just one child. I didn’t know this then, of course, but I did know that it could be just a matter of hours before Lena would no longer be my only baby. I decided to photograph our day so that I would have a record of everyday life with just me and Lena.

Even though these pictures are from just two weeks ago, I can’t believe how much Lena has changed, much less our whole lives! One example: when she plays with her alphabet puzzle now, she knows about 75% of the letters by name and doesn’t need any help to put the pieces in place correctly. Children grow up so, so quickly.

So, if you will, take a walk with me down memory lane!

That morning, while Elliott showered and shaved, I got the day started in the kitchen. I served Lena a bowl of Raisin Bran (her favorite because she knows nothing else) and a cup of milk. I started coffee brewing for Elliott and me. And then I packed a lunch for Elliott. That day his lunch included leftover sweet potato and black bean enchiladas, carrots and dip, a pear, soft gingersnap cookies, olives from the market, and Triscuits.

These cold days, instead of serving cereal, I’ve been making oatmeal for Elliott and myself. Lena is usually finished with her Raisin Bran by then and asks for a small bowl of oatmeal to eat with us.

While Lena is eating, I like to do her hair. It’s the only time she’ll sit still for me because she’s strapped into her high chair!

After this Elliott left for work and Lena and I ventured out into the cold for a short walk.

She’s pointing to Mt Etna for me, which is unfortunately invisible in this photo. We then wandered through the old streets of our neighborhood and Lena tried out our key in different doors. She was unsuccessful in opening any of them, to her chagrin. I, meanwhile, was relieved that there was no one at home behind any of the doors she tried!

We headed back home to “pay!” (play) for a little while before her morning nap. She loooooves this wooden alphabet puzzle; I think we have completed it at least three times a day together for a month. It’s such a fun, easy way to learn the alphabet, though!

Below is a video I took of her working on the puzzle with me. It’s not great quality and my voice annoys me (I’m learning — slowly — to cut down on the baby talk), but it does capture so well how we spend our days together. Here it is:

After this it was time for her nap. I read a few books to her before laying her in her crib, singing her a song, and murmuring, “Sleep well! I love you, Lena!” as I shut the door.

While she slept I worked on this blog post.

She’s awake! Time for a trip to the bathroom. She was in the middle of potty training at this point, able to tell us when she needed to go but not to be trusted without a diaper on.

We taught her to empty the pot and clean it after she’s done. Finally we found a use for that bidet!

Even just two weeks later, the routine is totally different. She is sitting on the adult toilet now on a kid-sized seat and hasn’t had an accident in awhile. She also doesn’t need a pacifier to get her through the drama of it anymore. Growing up so quickly.

We moved outside to the balcony so that I could fold the laundry that had dried overnight.

Lena — wearing a pair of “big girl underwear” and no pants to help her remember that she doesn’t have a diaper on — played with my muddy boots from a hike we took last weekend. She then asked to be lifted up to make the wind chime sing. I held her up (cautiously, for we live on the edge of a cliff!) after taking this photo.

These are the last cloth diapers of Lena’s that I will wash for awhile, I think! We’ve moved entirely to training pants and underwear. The end of an era.

After that we moved inside to make and eat lunch together. I’ll pick up at this point tomorrow to finish chronicling the day.

If you stuck with me this far, thank you! If you don’t have kids, what surprised you the most about a day at home with a one-year-old? If you do have kids, what looked the most familiar to your routine, no matter where you live in the world?

20 :: in a picture an hour, Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Series, family, Lena, motherhood, video

our first hours with Gil

January 31, 2013 at 9:24 pm

Elliott and I worked on a name for our son for months. We knew we wanted to cull his first and middle names from our family heritage, so we spent awhile piecing together family trees and picking out our favorite first and last names on both sides. We would then try out different combinations, saying them aloud over and over. Eventually, we thought we had the right one.

But then our baby just did not look like a… well, can’t say because we might use it one day!

So there we were, in the hospital, everyone asking us what his name was, and we had no idea. We went back to the drawing board and at some point one of us remembered an old favorite. “What about Mark Gilchrist? And call him Gil?” And then back and forth and back and forth again… and it just fit. What could we say? He was our Gil Garber.

“Mark” is my father’s name, and I am so proud to name our son after my dad. I know my dad’s mom, my beloved Gramma (who died when I was pregnant with Lena), would have loved that! I hope in so many ways that Gil is like my dad: sincere and thoughtful in faith, a seeker of true truth, a lover of books and reading, a disciplined and conscientious worker, a man who prioritizes his wife and children before any other relationships, a faithful and honest friend, and, of course, an insatiable adventurer.

“Mark” is also the name of the author of the Gospel of Mark and one of the first New Testament missionaries.

“Gilchrist” is an old Scottish name, probably of Gaelic origin, that means “servant of Christ.” “Gilchrist” is also a family name on Elliott’s father’s side, which they have traced back to the 12th century in Scotland. The Gilchrist denominational heritage is Reformed Presbyterian, and there have been RP Gilchrists since the early days of the Protestant Reformation (16th century). A significant Gilchrist in the recent family history was Elliott’s great-grandfather, Herb Gilchrist, who was a Colorado cattle rancher and deacon in his local RP congregation. Elliott’s dad spent many summers of his childhood with his Gilchrist grandparents in Colorado and felt a very close connection with them their whole lives. Gil’s Uncle David has the middle name Gilchrist, too.

We were thrilled to have some visitors that first day in the hospital, including a lot of little kiddos who were very excited to see the baby!

We’re hugely grateful to our dear friends the Arthurs, who watched Lena for us that weekend. She was in heaven, I can tell you. She asks every day if we’re going to see them. “Bukka? [Becca?] Dosh? [Josh?] Ees? [Elise?]”

Thanks to the sweet Arthurs, Elliott was able to stay with me the entire 36 hours that Gil and I were in the hospital. I savored that time with just the three of us. Elliott and I had so much time to just sit and talk and admire our baby. It hasn’t quite been like that since we got home with Lena bouncing around us all day long!

I also am kind of a funny natural birth mama, I guess, because I actually like being in the hospital. Think about it:

So much food… multiple courses delivered to you on a tray while you lounge in bed! You didn’t have to prepare or plate a single dish. And they take away the dirty dishes when you’re done.
People make sure that you are okay all the time (not you making sure everyone else is okay).
You can shower anytime you want to… and without a toddler in the stall with you.
They make your bed with fresh sheets every day.
… and you can eat all the chocolate pudding you could ever want.

What can I say? Sometimes it’s the littlest things that mean the most… like that darling little baby in your arms!