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Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom: Cloth Diapering

first cloth diaper ever!
& morning wash

I ask myself a lot these days (as I wash and rewash and then wash again): why am I cloth diapering my baby?  I don’t have a good answer.  I’ve heard a lot of good reasons touted by cloth diapering advocates, including these:

  • Baby’s comfort.  Cozy cloth is more comfy than wearing paper and plastic.
  • The environment.  Less garbage in the landfills.
  • Saving money over the long-term.  (More on this later.)
  • Supposedly potty training is easier and happens earlier because toddlers can actually feel when they are wet.  I’m holding out for this one to be true.
  • No polyacrylate gel, and I say this one tongue-in-cheek, because no one really knows that much about it yet.  But it is suspected of exacerbating asthma.
  •  Cloth diapers are cute, and–I’ll just say it right now–they are really really hip!

About that last reason.  Crunchy mamas are just kind of expected to use cloth diapers these days.  If you went through a Bradley class, if you birthed your baby tough ‘n’ natural, if you breastfeed with any kind of enthusiasm… well, where are the cloth diapers?  This is a sad and silly truth about mama-to-mama peer pressure, folks.  And I am raising my hand and admitting that I’m a pushover.

But hey, at least being a pushover in this case does probably mean better things for this earth and better things for my baby!  We’ll probably chuckle at ourselves in 20 years, about the same time we wonder why we endured so much pain for natural childbirth.  But at least right now we honestly can’t see any negatives to natural childbirth, breastfeeding, organic food, and cloth diapers.  Other than more work for Mom, these seem to be fairly positive things for our children and our world.  So, not knowing much more than this, I decided to embark into cloth diapering, foolishness or not.

& best $3 I ever spent at a yard sale: her LeapFrog table 

We started using cloth diapers when Lena was nine months old.  This was for two reasons:

  1. We were on the move from the day Lena was born.  Her homes included a Capitol Hill studio, my parents’ home in Virginia, a hotel room and various CouchSurfing residences in Israel, Elliott’s parents’ home in Virginia, a cabin in Colorado, a 19th century seaside house in St. Michaels, a hotel suite in Sicily, a carriage house apartment in San Antonio, a ranch in Santa Barbara county, and finally her own villa-home in Italy.  The laundry involved in cloth diapering was not feasible!
  2. We are on a tight budget, and investing in enough cloth diapers for Lena took more $$$ than we were willing to shell out at one time.  So we cruised along with gifted diapers as well as inexpensive deals at the commissary.  Finally I asked for cloth diapers for my birthday and for Christmas, and I bought three diapers on a Black Friday sale, and we ended up with a generous 19 BumGenius 4.0 one-size-fits-all cloth diapers by the New Year.  We were ready to begin!

Lena’s been in cloth diapers now for about two months.  There is a steep learning curve with these things, and I will not claim that it has been a cake walk.  At all.  Here are a few things I did not know when we started:

  • Poop.  You have to scrape it out of the diapers somehow.  I recommend GroVia liners.  (And maybe using your bidet, if you happen to have one.)
  • Smell.  They can give your baby’s nursery a permanent odor!  Invest in a trash can with a tight lid.  We use a Diaper Champ.
  • Wash.  You’ll be doing a lot of laundry, folks.  I do a load of diapers every other day, which involves one rise cycle and then one wash cycle [usually].  I can’t put BumGenius covers in the dryer, so I almost always dry everything outside.  Sunshine is an amazing natural bleach for any leftover stains; I had no idea!
  •  Stuffing.  No one told me that I would spend 15 minutes every other day “recreating” my cloth diapers.  At least with the BumGenius pocket-stuff type, there are two pieces that have to be snapped and fitted back together after every wash.  When the load is dry, I spend a good quarter of an hour kneeling on the floor snapping, stuffing, and stacking diapers.  
  • Mama’s job.  Daddy doesn’t do any washing, any drying, any stuffing, because he is at work when all that happens.  He changes maybe one diaper a day, maybe a couple more on weekends.  This commitment is almost entirely on my shoulders.
    stuffing diapers on my knees on the balcony
    & helping Mama with the clean laundry

    But in the end, is it worth it?  All the extra work, all the wash, all the intimate interactions with poop?  I have thought about it and decided yes, I will stick with it.  And here’s why:

    • Working with my hands.  I love to knit, to knead a loaf of bread, to fold laundry, to make a bed.  I enjoy working with my hands.  And so, poopy and stinky though this job may be, I get a deep and real sense of satisfaction as I pull clean diapers out of the wash and put up a fresh, dry stack of diapers in Lena’s changing table.  Silly as it sounds, this is the #1 reason I enjoy cloth diapering.
    • Cost.  These cloth diapers were free, almost entirely thanks to generous family members!  Disposables from the commissary are not.  We’ll stick with ’em.
    • Environment.  They say it’s better for the environment long-term.  I think I trust them… even though we do a crazy amount of laundry and use a lot of energy.  But they say it’s better.  So okay.
    • Potty training.  Like I said before, mamas and experts promise it’s easier with cloth diapers than with quick-wicking disposables.  I’m hanging on for that.
    • She couldn’t care less.  Lena doesn’t seem to mind if she’s in cloth or disposable.  (Or if she’s wet or dry, for that matter, so perhaps that makes easier potty training promises null and void?  Oh dear.)  Her skin doesn’t mind either; we haven’t had major issues with diaper rash with either option.
    • Peer pressure.  I’m a part of the cloth diapering club!  (The other name for this point is pride.  So this is not a good reason.  But I’m all about honesty here, and there it is.)
    •  Cuteness.  She looks so stinkin’ cute in these patterns and colors!  Don’t you think so too?
    4 :: in Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Series, Lena, motherhood, thoughts

    Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom: Cloth Diapering

    first cloth diaper ever!
    & morning wash

    I ask myself a lot these days (as I wash and rewash and then wash again): why am I cloth diapering my baby?  I’ve heard a lot of good reasons touted by cloth diapering advocates, including these:

    • Baby’s comfort.  Cozy cloth is more comfy than wearing paper and plastic.
    • The environment.  Less garbage in the landfills.
    • Saving money over the long-term.  (More on this later.)
    • Supposedly potty training is easier and happens earlier because toddlers can actually feel when they are wet.  I’m holding out for this one to be true.
    • No polyacrylate gel which is suspected of exacerbating asthma.
    •  Cloth diapers are cute, and–I’ll just say it right now–they are really really hip!

    About that last reason.  Crunchy mamas are just kind of expected to use cloth diapers these days.  If you went through a Bradley class, if you birthed your baby tough ‘n’ natural, if you breastfeed with any kind of enthusiasm… well, where are the cloth diapers?  This is a silly truth about mama-to-mama peer pressure, folks.

    But hey, at least peer pressure in this case does probably mean better things for this earth and better things for my baby!  We honestly can’t see any negatives to natural childbirth, breastfeeding, organic food, and cloth diapers.  Other than more work for Mom, these seem to be fairly positive things for our children and our world.  So, not knowing much more than this, I decided to embark into cloth diapering.

    We started using cloth diapers when Lena was nine months old.  This was for two reasons:

    1. We were on the move from the day Lena was born.  The laundry involved in cloth diapering was not feasible!
    2. We are on a tight budget, and investing in enough cloth diapers for Lena took more $$$ than we were willing to shell out at one time.  So we cruised along with gifted disposable diapers as well as inexpensive deals at the commissary (military grocery store).  Finally I asked for cloth diapers for my birthday and for Christmas, and I bought three diapers on a Black Friday sale, and we ended up with a generous 19 bumGenius 4.0 One-Size Snap Closure Cloth Diapers by the New Year.  We were ready to begin!

    Lena’s been in cloth diapers now for about two months.  There is a steep learning curve with these things, and I will not claim that it has been a cake walk.  Here are a few things I did not know when we started:

    • Poop.  You have to get the solid waste out of the diapers before you throw them in the wash.  I recommend Real Nappies Bioliner Flushable Diaper Liners; I just flip the liner and all its contents into the toilet and am left with a smelly diaper with no poop on it.  Brilliant.
    • Smell.  They can give your baby’s nursery a permanent odor!  Invest in a trash can with a tight lid.  We use a Diaper Champ.
    • Wash.  You’ll be doing a lot of laundry.  I do a load of diapers every other day, which involves one rise cycle and then one wash cycle [usually].  I use All Small & Mighty, HE, Triple Concentrated Liquid Laundry Detergent.  Diapers take so little detergent (too much detergent hurts their absorbency) that this one little bottle has lasted us almost a year!  
    • Dry.  I can’t put BumGenius covers in the dryer, so I almost always dry everything outside.  Sunshine is an amazing natural bleach for any leftover stains.
    •  Stuffing.  No one told me that I would spend 15 minutes every other day “recreating” my cloth diapers.  At least with the BumGenius pocket-stuff type, there are two pieces that have to be snapped and fitted back together after every wash.  When the load is dry, I spend a good quarter of an hour kneeling on the floor snapping, stuffing, and stacking diapers.  
    • Mama’s job.  Daddy doesn’t do any washing, any drying, any stuffing, because he is at work when all that happens.  He changes maybe one diaper a day, maybe a couple more on weekends.  This commitment is almost entirely on my shoulders.
      stuffing diapers on my knees on the balcony
      & helping Mama with the clean laundry

      But in the end, is it worth it?  All the extra work, all the wash, all the intimate interactions with poop?  I have thought about it and decided yes, I will stick with it.  And here’s why:

      • Working with my hands.  I love to knit, to knead a loaf of bread, to fold laundry, to make a bed.  I enjoy working with my hands.  And so, poopy and stinky though this job may be, I get a deep and real sense of satisfaction as I pull clean diapers out of the wash and put up a fresh, dry stack of diapers in Lena’s changing table.  Silly as it sounds, this is the #1 reason I enjoy cloth diapering.
      • Cost.  These cloth diapers were free, almost entirely thanks to generous family members!  Disposables from the store are not.  We’ll stick with cloth.
      • Environment.  They say it’s better for the environment long-term.  I think I trust them… even though we do a crazy amount of laundry and use a lot of energy.  But they say it’s better.  So okay.
      • Potty training.  Like I said before, mamas and experts promise it’s easier with cloth diapers than with quick-wicking disposables.  I’m hanging on for that.
      • She couldn’t care less.  Lena doesn’t seem to mind if she’s in cloth or disposable.  (Or if she’s wet or dry, for that matter, so perhaps that makes easier potty training promises null and void?  Oh dear.)  Her skin doesn’t mind either; we haven’t had major issues with diaper rash with either option.
      •  Cuteness.  She looks so stinkin’ cute in these patterns and colors!  Don’t you think so too?
      6 :: in Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Series, Lena, motherhood, thoughts

      Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom: taking your baby to the hospital

      At Lena’s 9-month check-up a few weeks ago, Dr. Josh thought he heard a heart murmur in Lena’s chest.  Since this was the second time he’d heard it, it deserved closer examination.  Both Elliott and I felt our own hearts skip a beat as we listened to Dr. Josh describe the recommended next step: getting an echocardiogram, or ultrasound of her heart.

      The tiny 17-bed hospital on base doesn’t have a pediatric cardiologist, so we would have to go into “the big city” of Catania, for the ultrasound.  Just as he’d promised, we got a phone call in about a week to tell us that a van would be leaving from the base hospital with an Italian translator sometime the following week.  We could get a ride in the van and the Italian translator would facilitate the forms, tests, and proceedings at the Italian hospital in town.

      Yesterday was the day.  I met Elliott on base and we boarded the van with another anxious family.  It’s hard to describe your emotions at that point.  You know your baby looks totally normal and happy, but within, inside, in the unseen knit-together places, there might be something wrong.  There might be a defect that will cause her great suffering in the future, or cause a cardiac malfunction while sleeping in the night, or require surgery in the States.  If it turned out her condition was serious enough that the hospital on base could not take care of her, Lena and I would be required to move back to the U.S.  Elliott might be left behind.  It happens rarely, but when children on base develop serious conditions such as juvenile diabetes or when babies are born who are too premature for the base hospital, families are divided for lengths of time due to the need for more intensive medical care.  We weren’t going on a picnic that day.  We were definitely probably way too freaked out, but… well, you know what was going through our minds.

      The hospital in Catania did not look like a hospital, and we were grateful for the calm presence of the Italian woman with us.  We walked into the quiet halls of the hospital and into the Pediatric Cardiology wing (cardiologia pediatrica).  Thankfully they had an incredible playroom, and Lena went to town with all the toys.  The other girls in the van with us fell in love with Lena and the three of them played happily for about an hour while we waited for our turn.

      Finally it was our turn.  We walked into the echo room and took off Lena’s shirt.  At this point I expected her to begin crying, and I’d been imaging how I could lay down on the table myself with her on top of me, or could lay her across my lap and nurse her simultaneously.

      However, incredibly we did not have to do any of those things, because Lena was a jewel.  She was fascinated by the doctor, fascinated by the dark room, and completely and utterly fascinated by the ultrasound screen.  (There are advantages to not having a TV… because your baby will lie in rapt attention whenever she sees one!)  As the doctor began to move the ultrasound wand over little Lena’s chest, I remembered my two ultrasounds when I was pregnant with Lena and I could see her little form for the first time inside me.  Now she was lying on the table for her own ultrasound.  Things change quickly.

      The exam didn’t take long because Lena lay so still and curious.  Que buona questa bambina! the doctor exclaimed towards the end.  How good this baby is!  We were proud.

      And then the doctor said she was finished and turned to us.  The translator tried to translate everything for us as the doctor spoke, but she didn’t have to.  The words for the valves, atria, ventricles, and so on are pretty much the same in Italian as in English, and as a nurse and a veterinarian speaking to a doctor, we already spoke the same language.  We understood that the doctor saw nothing abnormal.  We understood that every atrium, every ventricle, every valve was functioning normally.  We understood that what Dr Josh heard was probably just the muscles on the valves making a little noise; that’s called a functional murmur.  We understood that her muscles would grow with her heart and she would grow out of this.  We understood that the doctor thought we had a beautiful little daughter and nothing to worry about.

      Such gratefulness washed over us as we held each other’s hands and held our daughter tight on our way back to the playroom.  We don’t, we cannot, take any moment of true good health for granted.  It can be snatched away in a moment.  We are not invincible.  We are weak and we are blessed with God’s mercy.

      After the test Lena and I were all smiles.  Later we drove home, and Lena read her peek-a-boo book from her grandparents (one of her current favorites!).  She took a long nap and woke up ready to play some more.  For another day.  We are so thankful.

      9 :: in Italy, Lena, motherhood, my faith, thoughts

      Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom: taking your baby to the hospital

      At Lena’s 9-month check-up a few weeks ago, Dr. Josh thought he heard a heart murmur in Lena’s chest.  Since this was the second time he’d heard it, it deserved closer examination.  Both Elliott and I felt our own hearts skip a beat as we listened to Dr. Josh describe the recommended next step: getting an echocardiogram, or ultrasound of her heart.

      The tiny 17-bed hospital on base doesn’t have a pediatric cardiologist, so we would have to go into “the big city” of Catania, for the ultrasound.  Just as he’d promised, we got a phone call in about a week to tell us that a van would be leaving from the base hospital with an Italian translator sometime the following week.  We could get a ride in the van and the Italian translator would facilitate the forms, tests, and proceedings at the Italian hospital in town.

      Yesterday was the day.  I met Elliott on base and we boarded the van with another anxious family.  It’s hard to describe your emotions at that point.  You know your baby looks totally normal and happy, but within, inside, in the unseen knit-together places, there might be something wrong.  There might be a defect that will cause her great suffering in the future, or cause a cardiac malfunction while sleeping in the night, or require surgery in the States.  If it turned out her condition was serious enough that the hospital on base could not take care of her, Lena and I would be required to move back to the U.S.  Elliott might be left behind.  It happens rarely, but when children on base develop serious conditions such as juvenile diabetes or when babies are born who are too premature for the base hospital, families are divided for lengths of time due to the need for more intensive medical care.  We weren’t going on a picnic that day.  We were definitely probably way too freaked out, but… well, you know what was going through our minds.

      The hospital in Catania did not look like a hospital, and we were grateful for the calm presence of the Italian woman with us.  We walked into the quiet halls of the hospital and into the Pediatric Cardiology wing (cardiologia pediatrica).  Thankfully they had an incredible playroom, and Lena went to town with all the toys.  The other girls in the van with us fell in love with Lena and the three of them played happily for about an hour while we waited for our turn.

      Finally it was our turn.  We walked into the echo room and took off Lena’s shirt.  At this point I expected her to begin crying, and I’d been imaging how I could lay down on the table myself with her on top of me, or could lay her across my lap and nurse her simultaneously.

      However, incredibly we did not have to do any of those things, because Lena was a jewel.  She was fascinated by the doctor, fascinated by the dark room, and completely and utterly fascinated by the ultrasound screen.  (There are advantages to not having a TV… because your baby will lie in rapt attention whenever she sees one!)  As the doctor began to move the ultrasound wand over little Lena’s chest, I remembered my two ultrasounds when I was pregnant with Lena and I could see her little form for the first time inside me.  Now she was lying on the table for her own ultrasound.  Things change quickly.

      The exam didn’t take long because Lena lay so still and curious.  Que buona questa bambina! the doctor exclaimed towards the end.  How good this baby is!  We were proud.

      And then the doctor said she was finished and turned to us.  The translator tried to translate everything for us as the doctor spoke, but she didn’t have to.  The words for the valves, atria, ventricles, and so on are pretty much the same in Italian as in English, and as a nurse and a veterinarian speaking to a doctor, we already spoke the same language.  We understood that the doctor saw nothing abnormal.  We understood that every atrium, every ventricle, every valve was functioning normally.  We understood that what Dr Josh heard was probably just the muscles on the valves making a little noise; that’s called a functional murmur.  We understood that her muscles would grow with her heart and she would grow out of this.  We understood that the doctor thought we had a beautiful little daughter and nothing to worry about.

      Such gratefulness washed over us as we held each other’s hands and held our daughter tight on our way back to the playroom.  We don’t, we cannot, take any moment of true good health for granted.  It can be snatched away in a moment.  We are not invincible.  We are weak and we are blessed with God’s mercy.

      After the test Lena and I were all smiles.  Later we drove home, and Lena read her peek-a-boo book from her grandparents (one of her current favorites!).  She took a long nap and woke up ready to play some more.  For another day.  We are so thankful.

      8 :: in Italy, Lena, motherhood, my faith, thoughts

      thank you + market run

      Thank you all for your thoughts and emails after my last post.  I have been so encouraged to hear that many of you are feeling the same things, whether single or married, whether with kids or without, whether living close to home or abroad.  I guess my main point was that I am working, striving, struggling to find a new identity in a new stage of my life, and pretty much everybody has felt that way at some stage.  It was comforting to know that I’m writing to a group of friends who understand and can relate, rather than “sending this cosmic question out into the void.”*

      So, friends, how’s your Groundhog Day going?  We just got back from taking little Lena for a test at a local hospital.  Her doctor was worried that she had a heart murmur.  Well, I’ll tell you the whole story tomorrow, but for now we are very grateful that her little heart seems to be a-ok.  I’ve stopped taking good health for granted for any of us.

      For today, here are a couple of pictures I took after my run to the weekly market in town.  My friend Becca and I have been meeting up there each week and then often come back to my house for a cup of coffee and some quiet conversation.  This week Becca introduced me to her favorite butcher in the market, who sold me this bag of 8 eggs for 1 euro (about US$1.35).  Cheapest and freshest eggs I’ve ever had.

      The butcher sold them to me in a paper bag, so I had to transfer them to an old egg carton when I got home.  The cheerful message on the bag made me smile.  Did something simple, like a message on a bag of eggs, brighten your day today?

      *Can you name that movie?  It’s my fav!
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